I hear ya! I know exactly how you feel. Why do we do this? In my case it is simple. I believe that I have discovered what TRUE LOVE is. Not the butterflies in your stomach or the rush you feel when you see your W/H. Not the gleam in their eye or the smile when you see them. No!
Love to me is recognizing their imperfections. Acknowledging they have hurt you and continue to do so. Seeing that they are flawed and don't seem to consider your feelings, and still forgive them. Love is accepting all these things and still wanting them. Love to me is enduring the pain they are causing and willing to stand for the M. This is the deepest love I can think of. When you feel this way there is nothing you can't do. Your W too will/will not come to this point but regardless it does not change how you feel. Is it painful? For me it is the most painful thing I have ever endured; but if I come back from this and my W and I survive I believe we will have the most magical marriage either one of us could have ever imagined.
Sometimes we are quick to surrender. We doubt ourselves and we doubt the situation but through the doubt you see the light and you get encouraged. Should you be a doormat? ABSOLUTELY NOT! You must have principles that you stand by; but remember this is something YOU have chosen to endure and that says more about you than anything else.
Just my feeble attempt to explain why I go through this. I believe that we chose to forgive when we have every right not to. This is LOVE.
This is when, I believe, a real marriage is born. This is when those words "for better or worse" begin to take their meaning. It doesn't matter which one of you decides to live by them the fact that one of you is willing, shows that true love exist.
