Just read up on your thread Alamo. We share some things in common, same age and both foreigners living in CA. I have been through almost exactly what you are going through.
You have some work to do, but I believe this R can be saved. You do need to change, but not in the ways you may think.
First step for you:
STOP talking about the R! STOP STOP STOP. Don't let her draw you into R talks, change the subject. Get out of there. Just avoid them any way you can. This includes apologizing for your past mistakes, telling her you regret what you did and so on. Just think "ALL R TALK IS BAD". Later when you are in a better place there will be time to talk about things, that time is NOT now.
Second step for you:
Find a job. Stop putting all your energy into trying to save the R and put it ALL into getting back to work. This is counter-intuitive I know, but this will go a lot further towards saving your marriage than anything else you do right now. The primary problem in your R is RESPECT. She has lost respect for you and you do not respect yourself, the cycle goes on. Despite everything society says, a man without a means of providing is considered less of a man.
Third step for you:
When it comes to manly jobs JUST DO THEM. Do not ask her if she wants you too (weak man), do not make her do them (jerk), don't even say anything about it except "I will fix it" and then do it. Car repairs, house repairs, yard work, heavy lifting: do, and STOP TALKING ABOUT IT with her.
More to come (if you want)...
SF
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
