had a conversation with h last night...(ok it was more of an argument..doesn't matter what brought it out but it was all there in the end) h either says nothing at all or simply accuses me of being a misserable person in general (I don't know imp, you met me, am I misserable in general?) or simply gives me the "that's just me" sentiment...
I explained to him yet again the path that we are walking..that eventually (I don't know when, I can't give a timeline) could be a year could be 5, that I just wont care anymore..that each time I try to express myself and evoke some small change in the r and nothing happens it's another nail in the coffin...h sits in silence..saying nothing...he never says much of anything unless it's to say...why don't you just call a laywer..or I'm not going anywhere (in anger not in a I love you and I'm not leaving you, more of a "this is my house woman and I'm not leaving")
so trying to talk to him about things never goes well...I don't think we've ever had an "argument" that gets resolved it typically ends with him going to sleep and my forcing myself to go to sleep and the next day he acts as if nothing happend..maybe I'll get a hug or something that I'm supposed to interperet the meaning behind but in the end nothing really changes.
it's not about me changing...I've made the changes about the only one left is for me to get on meds and become a tupperware party throwing emotionless housewife like the rest of the stepfords.
I've asked directly for what I want (and it's not much)I've explained how it makes me feel that he seems to not care enough to meet some of my needs in the r.
sorry if this is jumbled the kids are at my feet....gotta go play.
