So I completed my first day of my modified LRT. I have to admit that I did not think it would be this difficult. The comments on this thread about me being fearful of giving up the pursuing activities were bang on.
Typically on a Monday morning I have to go into work early, so I would get up and get my wife a Starbucks Coffee while she stayed at home and got the kids off to school. (I started doing this only after the Bomb was dropped) Today was the first time in over a year that I didn't go out and get her a coffee. (My wife loves her coffee, but she said my doing this made her feel guilty) At night she mentioned to me that because of meetings etc she didn't get her morning coffee until after 11:00. I didn't respond directly and she didn't ask why I didn't go out and get her one like I have been doing.
In addition, I did not make her a lunch, something that I also started doing after the Bomb was dropped. I had a hard time last not making her one for today! I also did not contact her yesterday other than to send a couple of email reponses to her about the kids after school activities. Normally, I would phone her at lunch time to ask her how her day was going etc.
At home last night, I was upbeat, pleasent and listened while she vented about her day at work. After that, I went off to do a few things around the house and later went to the gym.
Anyway, I will stick with this new plan as hard and as counterintuitive as it seems to be. It truly does come down to the fact that I was afraid that not doing these things would worsen my position. The reality is that doing these things were doing more harm then good in that I was pursuing her. In her mind, the marriage is over, so why would I continue bothering with these pursuing activities.
