This is what I have learned and how I function post MLC. 1. Not much anxiety in life anymore, No constant mental noise 2. more peacefulness and discovering control is an illusion 3. My kids gravitate to me more more now then ever before. My oldest has said tht you give off an air of peacefulness. I like being around you.
How about patience ?
Originally Posted By: Spirit
If I have guilt I don't see it but maybe I'm missing it. I consider my life better now post MLC because of where I am. Where I am is independent of anyone else. I did think my marriage would get better than it was post MLC because I became much more empathetic to people, my wife my kids. Not that I wasn't that way before but even more so now. Obviously what I thought and what has taken place are two different outcomes.
Maybe you don't see it, I would venture that you feel it inside.
Originally Posted By: Spirit
We became stagnant(This is somewhat true) That she is a different person and were going in differnt directions. She is done raising children(we still have a 12 yr old) I have to drag you along everywhere.( We did many things together, before she loved being together. When i did my own thing she always wanted to know when I would be home) I have forgiven myself and all the baggage that came with MLC. I like the person I became.
Did your marriage become stagnant ? Just you ? Just her ?
Most marriages become stagnant at some point or another. We work with the tools we are given throughout our lifetime. So we tend to think those tools will do everything from carpet to plumbing. What we don't see is that as our tasks change, so should our tools.
Ever try to cut tile with a butter knife?
Not a blame on you here. Most of us learn this far too late to do any good today.
Originally Posted By: Spirit
My wife is confused(MLC i think). She is searching for external excitement. She made mention before that she has to do something to get herself through this. Her escape from this getting an apartment, living by herself, her job, her independence. I definetely played a role in her leaving. I have a life independent of her. I will not know the outcome til she makes her way through her journey just as with most of the people here. You cannot control there journey. That is one thing I learned through MLC. I could not control the overwhelming feelings that came over me. I just went with it as best I could. With mine there was just mass confusion most of the time and no one else could have a made a difference. It was my road to travel.
You, of all people, should understand how she feels right now then.
The patience it will take to make it through this intact.
How do you see things that she is doing, in relation to what you did ?
Originally Posted By: Spirit
I don't know what my relationship with my wife will look like going forward. there may not be one, but I want to keep moving forward as well.
What do you want it to look like ?
Take away everything that pertains to your relationship right now....
