Sandi, I always enjoy your advice, be it here or other threads. Thank you for being so actively caring and concern for the folks here.
I ended up not confronting her. There were a couple of opportunities, but I decided it would be unwise.
As for the bills, I believe it's the nature of being a medical student. Before med school, my wife was in charge of the finances, but when she started, I took over. Quite a lot of the time she was swamped and studying was and still is an overtime job for her. So I guess old habits die hard - even though she said she will start taking care of her own credit cards and bills, she has been lackadaisical about it, IMHO. I've reminded her about the payment processes, the account passwords, but like yesterday, when I told her that should start paying for her cards, she said "You were supposed to give me the passwords, etc. How do I know you didn't change them?"
The same goes regarding our so-called arranged nights when we alternately take turns watching our son and our dog. She says we're doing this as if we're actually separated (not in the same house). If it were so, then why do I still take our dog out to potty in the mornings, feed her AND get our son ready and take him to school? I mean, if we were truly separated, she'd have to find her own way to take care of these things, regardless of how busy she is. She probably thinks that I am obligated because:
A. I'm jobless and she's "letting" stay here, and B. I'm still acting like a doormat (I hope not) by still being there for her, not in a needy way, mind you
The groomer: I did inform her beforehand that I would be taking Bella (our Cairn) to this local business where we always get our dog food from. In fact, the habit of supporting local mom and pop stores was something my wife and I had encouraged in each other in the last few years, which is why I thought she'd understand that sometimes mom and pop stores can be a little bit more expensive (in this case, probably $10 more) than chain stores.
Now I also have a question about our joint account. You may recall that my wife went to open her own account, but it turns out that because she is the primary, our current account and her new one are still seen as still group under her name, which is also why I can see her account when I do any online banking. I told her about this and she told me that in order for us to have true separate accounts, I should take myself out of our joint.
Well, I'm already given up our marital bed, now she wants me to relinquish myself out of our account... Should I just go with it? After all, it's just a bank account. On the other hand, I'm not sure I want to give her the impression that I'm supporting this separation/divorce.
