Quite a dichotomy here, LL...He's setting up the tree for your family Christmas and you're wondering what you EVER saw in him! OY!
Does he have a clue as to how you're feeling? Is he trying in his own way to smooth things?
I'm curious LL, and forgive me if you've done this exercise before but It might be helpful to list the specific things that you'd like to see your H do/cut back on doing/say etc.
You know what I'm getting at here...what are the concrete things he could do (now don't jumpt ahead with "he just won't" at this point).
Eg>
1) Make an afternoon or evening once a week to watch the kids so LL can have some LL time
2) Ask LL out to dinner or a movie once a month
3) Tell LL she's sexy! Gorgeous! Hot!
4) be more observant of and open to LL's attempts to get physical
5) Be more consistent with sexual advances
6) Invite LL to X# of football games a season
7) Oh yeah, is this still relevant? Drop OW as a customer!!!
Now these are just some of my fairly educated guesses...what would you change or add?
The idea I suppose is to get a firm grasp of what is missing, of what just MIGHT make this feel like a real M for you.
And then of course....comes the goal setting.
Or heck skip ahead...write up a contract with your requirements and ask H if he thinks he can live up to it (some negotiation might be necessary...he may have a few ideas of his own!)....
What do you think he'd do LL? I mean really...if it was work on these elements of a good M, or leave....or not much better....hang on with unfulfilled desires, unhappiness and raise the kids to have their mother's disappointment and father's oblvion as their models of what an M should be??
Harsh, I know, but maybe your H needs a little tough love.
Maybe a New Year's contract? A wish list? Resolutions?
Hope your tree is pretty...I think ours is going up tomorrow. CJ's done all the windows now
