First post to the site, will try and make it brief.
Wife and I have been together for 15 years, married 9. Have three kids D7, D4, S3 and the bomd was dropped on my January 12, 2011. have been having problems for the last five years and have been to 2 marriage counselors. Main problem is disagreement on how to discipline our kids, and other stuff (anger, resentment, immaturity) has only made things worse.
In her words this divorce has been on her mind for the last year and she finally made the decision because she does not foresee any change. I agree that in last few years we have went from partners to roommates. She told me that she is not happy with the person she has become, she changed this way because of me and she doesnt want to live her life this way anymore. I moved out the next day.
After a few days of whoa is me, I changed gears and am determined to show her that I can and will understand what it takes for a healthy marriage. Found this site and ordered/reading The Divorce Remedy. Trying to do 180's by giving her room and not bringing up R at this time. To say that this has been hard is an understatement! We had dinner last Thursday and talked for 3 hours. At end of conversation I know I saw a crack in the wall that she has built up due to her saying "Just caused the papers are filed doesnt mean we have to sign them right away" and her agreement that the previous MC didnt work beacuse we only focused on kids and not us. I spoke to her about RETROUVAILLE and she asked for the paperwork and said she would look into it.
Well 3 days later I go to the house to drop off kids after the weekend and find all of my belongings packed into tubs in the garage. When I asked about it, all it did was lead to a fight and everything that was bulit up during dinner was torn back down. I am hurting right now. To me 9 years is not enough time to just throw in the towel and there has to better ways to make on self better then by getting a divorce.
So I post this for 2 reasons. I hope that by writing it out I will feel better and I hope somebody reads this and is willing to ask questions about my situation and nudge me in the right direction. I wish I could affored the DB coach but $ is a wee bit tight right now. Thanks in advance for any and all help.
Me 32 W 32 D 7 D 4 S 3 M 11/7/2001 Bomb 1/12/2011 Papers Filed 1/18/2011
