Mach1, Great questions. I will answer as best I can. This is what I have learned and how I function post MLC. 1. Not much anxiety in life anymore, No constant mental noise 2. more peacefulness and discovering control is an illusion 3. My kids gravitate to me more more now then ever before. My oldest has said tht you give off an air of peacefulness. I like being around you.
If I have guilt I don't see it but maybe I'm missing it. I consider my life better now post MLC because of where I am. Where I am is independent of anyone else. I did think my marriage would get better than it was post MLC because I became much more empathetic to people, my wife my kids. Not that I wasn't that way before but even more so now. Obviously what I thought and what has taken place are two different outcomes.
I feel like I am in a good place except for my marriage with my wife. I have followed the concepts for many months now. My wife wanted no boudaries at all. She had threatened to leave many times the past 6 months. I said everytime that it is your choice, I would prefer you stay but I will not block the door. Her complaints were:
We became stagnant(This is somewhat true) That she is a different person and were going in differnt directions. She is done raising children(we still have a 12 yr old) I have to drag you along everywhere.( We did many things together, before she loved being together. When i did my own thing she always wanted to know when I would be home) I have forgiven myself and all the baggage that came with MLC. I like the person I became.
My wife is confused(MLC i think). She is searching for external excitement. She made mention before that she has to do something to get herself through this. Her escape from this getting an apartment, living by herself, her job, her independence. I definetely played a role in her leaving. I have a life independent of her. I will not know the outcome til she makes her way through her journey just as with most of the people here. You cannot control there journey. That is one thing I learned through MLC. I could not control the overwhelming feelings that came over me. I just went with it as best I could. With mine there was just mass confusion most of the time and no one else could have a made a difference. It was my road to travel. I don't know what my reationship with my wife will look like going forward. there may not be one, but I want to keep moving forward as well.
