Oh, Dixie! It's not silly. Please don't minimize your feelings and think that they are silly. I understand completely why you feel the way that you do. (((hugs)))
Dixie, going dark is your only option right now and you need to stay strong. You must. As far as hope, I can tell you about one of my dear friends who actually divorced his wife. He, too, went dark and was partying up with his friends and other women. Well, one day friend's wife went out on a date and friend DID NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. Well, that started the road back to recovery and eventually remarriage for the both of them. Now, I'm not telling you to go and date someone. What I am saying is that there is always hope. It's a matter of whether you want to maintain it or not. Life, it's weird, you know? Nothing is static, everything is always changing. Your reality right now can be completely different from your reality a week from now and you won't have a clue what will set that change off. It's like what they say about a butterfly flapping it's wings... it could set off a wind storm later on as it builds momentum. That's what you need right now, a butterfly flapping it's wings.
I'm praying for you. Will you consider getting another dog???
