MJ,
Buddy, I want to throw you a small life line. Go to the bookstore tomorrow and pick up "To Begin Again," by Naomi Levy. She is a female Jewish rabbi that wrote a book about losing her father when she was 16. The entire book talks about how in life we sometimes reach at point where all seems hopeless, but things can be saved. Please go get it. I read it twice. It really helped me to cope with the loss of my own father and some of the crap that is going on with my life now. There are countless examples in there of how ordinary folks found the will inside of their own head to pull themselves out of some very dark moments. Please go get it. You won't regret it.

Good luck with the job. I really think if you get it things will start to turn around for you. I will be pulling for you!

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD

Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...