It is hard to tell from our standpoint what you are in a position to do in your relationship. ALL relationships have some sort of push/pull to them, to varying levels.
Do you feel you could tell him you really want to marry him again, and ask him what he would need to see to do that. Then you have to decide what you are really willing to live with.
Scylla means well, but it isn't helpful to think of him as 'cake-eating', which is a popular phrase on the board. It just makes you more frustrated with him when you see behaviors that seem to connect to the phrase, and it doesn't represent the whole truth of the relationship. It will help you to list everything you get out of your relationship.
