I have read the books and been on this forum as a watcher and poster on newcomers. I have DB'd and I have GAL.
I actually have a pretty decent grid of people.
What do I want? I want a relationship with my wife. But CAt you don't always get what you want in life. I did not want an MLC but I got one. Did it turn out ok? For me personally the internal growth from it is incredible but at the same time it caused some distance between my wife and I. She started to resent the peacefulness I think. She stated this as well.
You can want something in this life and it may not be best for your path. Things really do change with everyone, through everyone. So, I want my wife but not as she is. Nobody would really want an MLC'er if that got in there mind. Its a confusing utter mess. What you want is a better person to come out the other side. Thats the issue, you can stand but there are no garauntees.At this point I am standing. I use the techniques I learned and they do work. They help diffuse the situation.
