Hoping to find some peace

[Redo]

Journaling:

I just had a Epiphany...I sorta understand why wife decided on a D after 11 years of our marriage. For her this is what i had become.

1: A weak person who could not deal with relationship's problems and turned to her for support and comfort.

2: A person who was unable to make a decision and stick with it come bad or good.

3: Someone who was not strong in accepting what life threw at him and be happy...but instead kept wanting more and made himself unhappy.

4: Someone who's convictions were so weak that he waivers, gets depressed and cannot pull himself out of it...

My W wanted a lion of a husband, not a cat. Unfortunately for us, I turned out to be a mouse!!(at-least when it came to our R)

Oddly, these were the major issues about me in our marriage. Especially true after our D's birth and our families got into arguments. I was always nice to her. But i was not a happy person myself and i guess i brought her down. I was unable to stand up to her nor my parents. I let myself get squished in the middle...

I need to own up my issues and improve...And only hope that she sees these changes some day...