I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

AtTheEnd -- No. I don't. I think the spark goes out for a while and can come back if you stay committed to each other.

I was thinking about this a bit over the weekend. I remember the look on STBXW's face our first five years together. She's always been unhappy with her life and searching for the MAGIC something that will make her happy.

The first five years together that was me. I could see it in her eyes. But for a long, long time, I'm the reason she's unhappy -- I could see that too.

I don't believe I'm the reason. She can't face her own deeper issues and instead blames me and may always blame me. She needs help. I blamed her for my unhappiness too -- so it goes both ways. It's only after being out of there that I realized what I had done to add to the problem.

That's too long of an answer to that question.

Email from STBXW from some schedule changes I asked for a month ago. I work these running races in the summer. Luckily, last year all but two were on weekends I didn't have the girls and STBXW switched with me so I could work them.

This summer, three are on weekends I have the girls and I need to switch. These races are the ONLY way I make ends meet in the spring through fall.

So I tried to put together a schedule where we got the girls an equal number of weekends with several switches.

STBXW rejected it. She only sees the need for two switches -- mother's day and father's day.

So I responded back that there are three weekends I have to work and I'm supposed to have the girls -- what does she propose?

Unfortunately, I'm in the financial position that if she refuses to switch I'll have to say, "fine, I can't take them those weekends. You get extra time with them."

After reading my email, I emailed my attorney and said not to wait until March, get a proposal to them ASAP. I want this over with.