Wife left me -

[lostnhurt]

ZG, shaves -

Thanks for your support. It really helps. I had a great week end with my girls, we all had a lot of fun together. W came to pick them up around noon Sunday, I pretty much just cried on and off the rest of the day. Managed to do a few chores around that house that need to get done.

Shaves, 'feeling dead inside' is just how I feel. When she first told me in May she wanted to separate, I was completely devastated. Over time, while she was still living here, I seemed to accept it, and thought I was doing 'ok'. When the holidays hit, it became a bit more difficult. It was usually such a fun time for us around the house, and this year it was just awkward. When I realize she was having an EA, that was progressing to a PA, I knew it was time for her to move out.

Since she moved out, I feel just as bad as I did when she first told me. I hate not seeing my little girls everyday I hate being all alone in this house. My wife and I spent ALL out time together for the last 11 years, worked together, play together etc, it was alway just us, then once our girls where born, its always been the four of us. She's since made several friends when she started school, so she spends time with them when she's not with the girls. Mostly with the OM she met there, who she claims to this day that they are only friends, which I know is not true. I really don't have any friends to hang out with, they've all moved away, or have their own lives.

And Shaves, I think it is better to tell your kids together, we did, in fact I did most of the talking. It was short. They are only 5 and 1/2, they seemed to understand that mommy and daddy each have their own place and would be sharing time with us. I expected tears or for them to be upset, but they were actually kind of excited to see mommy's new place. Its new to them and they seem to enjoy being there. My wife even told them it was her idea to move and get her own place. We both made it clear we loved them very much, and they could always talk to us about it, or ask us any questions, any time about it.

Its going on week 3 and what I am starting to really realize is I am missing out on 1/2 of their lives. Its the little things, the projects they bring home from school everyday, or achievements, school activities, but so is my W. I have a stack of things they've brought home from the days they have been with me, and found out about projects they are working on that they told me about.

I still can not understand why my W would want to miss out on so much that we all used to share. Sure her and I had a disconnect, we needed to reconnect, we made the mistake of totally ignoring our relationship, me with work, her taking care of the girls.

Now she is doing all the things we should have/could have been doing to reconnect with OM instead. I just don't get it. Most that know us since we started dating are completely surprised that this is happening, we where always the couple everyone thought have the perfect life together.

Frankly Im really surprised I still hurt so much right now when for the last 10 months I knew this was coming. Its really like I went back to the day she dropped the bomb, but worse, now I don't get to see my girls everyday. I miss them so much.