Relationship Discussions - When is ok?

[Scared2Def]

Sandi2,

In the midst of me hearing that she wants to still leave in June, I finally used your advise and told her (in similar words).

That I want this last bit of time to be memorable and got out in a blaze of glory. I said there is no reason we cannot just have great times our last 4 months together and make the best. I told her I want the kids to see us all having fun together so they know the reason for us seperating is not their fault. I mentioned to my wife that we should plan a nice family vacation over kids spring break, I brought up that the kids have been mentioning Disneyland Paris.

Well this morning on her facebook, she sent a message to her friend asking what hotel they stayed at when they went there last year. That means she liked the idea right?

So now I NEED to continue with the no relationship talk and move forward again. My mistake yesterday was she asked me what was wrong and I just told the truth. I still feel obligated to tell her everything on my mind. I suppose that is my last hurdle in this Divorce Busting. I now will not make that mistake again. I scheduled an appt to see a lawyer next Friday was the earliest appointment. I want to start working on seperation agreement because in the conversation last night she said divorce is not yet on her mind.

So I fugured I need to get the ball rolling to cover my arse. I really appreicate your advice and please keep it coming.

[2stepboogie]

I think you have a golden opportunity here. If you stick to script and really make these last 4 months about having fun and just enjoying each other I have no doubt that you will be a success story here. She will bring up the M at some point I bet anything on it. Paris!! Haven't been there in like 15 yrs you'll love it. Remember enjoy the time and be cool and you will succeed!!!!!

[Scared2Def]

2Step,

I appreciate the vote of confidence. God knows I need all I can get. I was very encouraged by the fact she looked into the family trip scenario.

[Scared2Def]

So I am headed to bed right now and wife mentioned she was sleeping on the couch. Before I went up, I simply said to her "please sleep in the bed". Now I sit here before hitting the sack, it is 9pm here in Germany!

[sandi2]

Can't beg her to sleep in your bed b/c she will see that as pressure. She will probably pull back some to see if you pursue.

What did you expect to happen after the talk?

[2stepboogie]

I agree. I would say "hey, you take the bed tonight or we can alternate" I am sure sleeping on the couch all the time is not all that comfortable. I thought Sandi's advice was spot on. Glad you took it. I am SURE it will work to your benefit if you maintain the cool

[Scared2Def]

She just got out bath and is coming to bedroom. I am on my phone typing. Almost 11pm now. Night all for now. You guys r great!

[sandi2]

Staying cool is the ticket! Just like nothing bothers you and you don't get pulled into her drama.

[Scared2Def]

Thanks Sandi, I will be working hard.

[Still learning]

S2D,

I also check the board at night on my phone sometimes - just to write down my feelings so I don't blurt them out to W.

I think that fact she's researching the trip is a great sign!