Looking for the light at the end of my tunnel...

[Sanderika]

Hello SA,

I am so sorry that you are finding yourself faced with all of this. As you may know I am eyeball deep in it myself. I can only tell you that the pain is real today and it will lessen with time. Time and acceptance will prevail here and it will get you through. I am not sure where I stand right now in my sitch, my lawyer has let me down big time and I am in limbo about how to proceed going forward.

My advice to you on your last question to posters....

Go to the Lawyer, do not tell H you have hired one/who. Leave that up to your lawyer to inform H and his attorney that they have been retained by you as legal counsel. Keep it business like as has already been suggested.

Since you are the one being served, I just went through this myself and not knowing the State's laws where you live, I think you will have 20 days from receipt to answer the summons. Your lawyer will take care of these details for you. Hire one fairly quickly so as not to waste this time. I also counterclaimed my H's complaint. It gives me certain rights as to the progress of the proceedings and I was able to state many points on my own behalf against my H's actions as I deemed necessary.

If H tries to engage you in divorce talk and legalities and such about settlements and rights refuse to discuss this with him, instead refer him to your attorney....that's what you will be paying them to do....represent you.

From my experience, your H will try to engage you probably more than once especially if he does not like what he is presented with. He will also likely test the water to see how your frame of mind is going through this process. So at all times remain calm, cool and collected in his presence.

SA, you have much support here. The "family" we create on these boards will be here day and night to see that you stay strong and
grounded. It will be very hard, there is something in knowing we are not alone and there is immeasurable comfort knowing all these wonderful people are here to help.

My thoughts are with you, take care of YOU.

(((((Hugs)))))

Sanderika