SA, I did not tell my husband that I was consulting a lawyer, or that I had consulted one. I realised that I was an adult being faced with an major business deal [it is important not to get emotionally sidetracked by the divorce: yes it hurts, acknowledge that, but keep your brain engaged at all times]. Why would you tell your husband, and what would it achieve? Will it make him less cross? Does this matter?
It is normal to hire a lawyer, you are not 'blinsliding him' in any normal sense, just behaving like a responsible adult, and taking control of your own life.
One thing you can check out with your lawyer is the reality of any threats he might make. It was very useful to me to be able to state calmly what the facts were. It is much less frightening to have knowledge.
I am sorry that 28 years has been reduced to a business deal, and it hurts, but you will find that real healing will take place after the divorce. You are free, no more threats, and what you have is yours. It is actually a great relief. People said it, and I didn't believe them. It is very sad, but the reality is they are gone, for now. The divorce makes it official, and usually costs them more than it costs the lbs - both financially and emotionally. In their heads they will be free of us, but the exit price to marriage is high for both parties, the difference being that we know it and they don't.
