Oh man Hope I just read your post and I could of swore my W wrote it. This is exactly how she has described herself feeling. Now I would give a limb to have her back and stop this pain I am feeling on a daily basis.
I am 1000% sure H is not even aware of these feelings you are having, he might hear you he might even acknowledge them but he truly does not understand them.
I will never advocate to be a WAS based on the pain that I am feeling right now, I would not wish this on anyone at the same time the pain you are feeling is just as bad. Take some time here with my W I knew exactly when to approach to get the best reaction, after I awhile I just stop caring enough. The same could be true with your H. I think perhaps he should know how you are feeling the question becomes how you approach him when your M is in such a fragile stage.
Would love to hear a veteran here.
Just want to let you know that I am thinking of you.
I'm with 2Step... My W could've uttered those exact same words. I also agree that your H probably doesn't have a clue about how much pain he is causing you. I also think that you are still dealing with that angel/devil dynamic that we discussed earlier. One day the devil on one shoulder is controlling his behavior, the next, the angel... and back and forth. He still isn't sure about what he wants for his life... at least that is what is going on in his head. Again, your H sounds so much like me during the last 10 months that my W and I were together. He is having an internal battle. Unfortunately, this may go on for a very long time.
The best thing that my W could've done when I was like that, would be to do this:
Come over to me while I was relaxing... maybe begin to rub my back... tell me "honey, you know how much I love you, right?" or something like that... and then subtly transition into communicating how I was hurting her feelings.
Anger and defensiveness I think are the instinctual responses to how you are being treated, but they are not the most useful or productive reactions. Get my drift?
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
