31, trust me Sandi, I am not proud of this moment. I found some print offs from our C that talk about anger, fear and love. Good stuff. Just need to execute. Hard to change 30 years of bad habits. and question the whole institution you were raised in.
Shaves, anger is a secondary emotion... It comes from something else... frustration, confusion, disappointment, resentment... whatever...
Right now you are frustrated because you want your marriage and your wife doesn't... Reality is if she doesn't want it, you really don't have a marriage. Detaching is understanding that this is out of your control.. You can't decide for her. Decide for yourself that you will be the best person you can be and come to peace that you will be fine or even great if you get divorced. Once you are detached from the outcome, happy with yourself and your life and her actions don't affect you anymore is when you will begin to see the change.
Friends, can mean the world in these times. Just got back from dinner with a great friend and his wife and children and mine. My wife decided to spend the night with her friends, her loss. Nothing like good company to get you back in the saddle of life. Everyone on this site included. I've got great kids, great friends, and a WAW. Tonite I have come to realize what deserves my attention...
I'm sure it is, but believe that you can contol your angry. You may have to learn how to channel it! But, you can let it control you or you can control it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
i guess it is just a reaction to the way she treats me. I know what I have to do, and it is darn hard too do. I will make it on my own just fine, but its hard to watch one you love with all your heart fade out of sight. Not to mention what the poor kids are going to go thru.
shaver, it is hard to let go, but the sooner you do, the better it gets. Holding on is only hurting you right now. She feels like she just can't be with you... its a feeling, you can't change that, so give her what she wants... set her free. The kids will have a tough time, but they will adjust. Just give them your full attention when you have them. Bury yourself in being a great dad. Focus on you... She only controls you if you allow her to.
How bad did you want to work on your marriage before your W bombed you? How bad do you want it now? Do you see how the fear of Loss causes feelings to change. Time to turn the tables?
She is doing 2 things right now, looking for a place to move into, and hurting me every chance she can. But, the hurt lasts only minutes now, and I have discovered a few ways to take my mind off it directly after her digs. As fars as table turning goes, I have been getting busier and busier, but I still feel she has someone waiting in the wings, so me moving on only makes it easier for her. But this is what I am continuing to do. Time will tell...
