Love that you guys have this thread going! Its great to share stories and advice, I did that with a few friends when I was on the sites, One thing I would suggest to the dating site burn-out, is like anything else, take a rest for a while, I would be on for a while, then either get discouraged or just tired, burnt out, whatever and not go on for a month or two, then maybe I would say, what the heck, i'll go back and take a look see or re-subscribe, for me it helped, not get too overwhelmed with it all A very dear friend also here for the board told me to go about it as meeting "new friends" and not necessarily a romantic R ( thanks ICBI! )
Good Luck to you guys! I think its great we all got up, dusted off and started living life again!
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
Carrying over Barb's last post on the other thread: Ellie - that one sounds good. With the cover of their computer - people say and do almost anything and much of the time without a lot of thought. In real life they wouldn't do half as much. Some "reality" comes from the Internet - like you & I meeting at a vineyard or Josh and my relationship but honestly - there are far more people "play acting" on their computers than there is reality.
Barb - I don't know the percentages, but I'll agree, there are a lot of people online who are there for purposes other than meeting in real life. I really should not have broken that rule for the young guy - meet quickly - but since we were chatting on Skype, I felt pretty confident that he was who and what he seemed to be. Ah well.
There is a certain entertainment value to some of the weirdness, though, I must admit. Like the 22 year old who wanted to meet me for coffee yesterday (ummmm....no......) and the 31 year old British architect in Sweden who fantasizes about me (creepy or flattering? hmmm......)
Meanwhile a quick check of the ages of the last few guys who looked at my profile? 31, 22, 53, 22, 50,56, 57, 33, 22, 55, 20
Wow, Ellie - I never knew you could tell who looked at your profile but then - I haven't been on one of the sites for a long time either.
Speaking of Entertainment - you can find it in the weirdest places. One friend I met from DB used to analyze as he "people watched". Would always tell me who was in MLC. He could often figure it out and I'd guess he was probably right 75% of the time. Got me doing it too. Kind of fun, really. I remember being with him and another DB pal at a beach and we watched a girl drive up in her car then a guy come on his bike then they kissed, strolled arms around each other to a far point of land with one swing one it and they sat there. It was romantic for sure but we all wondered if it was an affair.
Lol - yup, could be, huh? And whenever I see a middle-aged guy with a young woman, I'm thinking "Midlife Crisis"! (Perhaps that's unfair, though - here I am, through no fault of my own, single and pursued by young men.....)
Yes, Barb, on most of the sites, you can see who viewed you so long as you also allow them to see you when you view their profiles. Useful info I think.
Hi! I have 5 free sessions with a therapist through my work and I went to my first today to discuss "relationships." She would agree that there are MANY men on the sites who are not looking for what we are. She didn't say too much positive about the sites and believes I will do better out and about living my life (which is what I've been doing)!
She also said the new "in thing" is for younger guys to date older women. I get guys from 30-38 looking and then from about 52-60! I agree, kml...nothing in between. Can't quite figure it out yet. EHarmony is free until Feb. 28 (basic stuff only), but I filled out the profile and we'll see.
I had my profile hidden for the past couple of weeks to take a break and then I posted it again today. Another thing...why do guys from far away (other states) view my profile? What's that about??
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10