imp we went to a marriage c and it didn't go well...after the last session I didn't bother to make another appointment the c scheduled on anyway but I didn't bother to go and h didn't mention it.
honestly though, how is a c who doesn't know either h nor myself going to be able to get beyond that issue? how is a c going to make me fully believe h? how is a c who may not even believe h (because he/she doesn't know HIM) going to help me or h get beyond it? and is it up to h at this point to make me believe him? will I always have some sense of doubt? do I actually even doubt him or do I like to imagine that it was hot and heavy...after all if he was simply with her for the conversation or company wouldn't that be worse as he's often too tired to converse with me?
it's more something that I alone have to deal with h doesn't need to hear yet again that I don't fully believe him...he knows I don't...knows that it's a struggle for me...but that's just it...at this point it is MY struggle...either I believe him or I don't...MOST of the time I do...will any amount of c or talk or time make that MOST turn into ALL? I seriously doubt it....there's always going to be some question in my mind as to what was really going on with them.
but alas...does it matter? suppose that is the real question isn't it?
