Newbie post What to do now

[JustStunned]

Well the dinner went well. W did not attend. She called to tell me she was busy with DIL’s mother in the ER. She wanted me to take the B Day present we picked out when we were Christmas shopping. It seems strange that we were happily buying gifts for family while W was judging the state of our relationship and deciding to D. I was pleasant during dinner and her family seemed to be gauging me. We played a hand of Uno afterwards and then cut cake. Today I spoke with one of the SILs, she wanted to know if I felt comfortable in their presence. I told her it felt a little strange for W not to be there and I was attempting to be a little more talkative. I hope word gets back to W how pleasant it was. My SIL said it was important to my niece that I was able to attend.

Today I met with an informal group of people for a little CC skiing. I was fun and there is the added benefit of being able to tell the SILs about it. The organizer of the group also organizes sailing trips for venture scouting. Each of the SILs and several of the nephews and nieces are involved. So part of my GAL will benefit them. I hope word gets back to W. W accuses me of being controlling. According to my W I am lost and alone because I cannot control her anymore.

This morning I was reviewing our relationship and I never realized how controlling she was, how isolated I have become. I have no close relationships aside from those she approved mostly her family. More fodder for the speaking with my C tomorrow.

If anyone is reading these posts a word of encouragement would be nice. I hate to ask and if I have offended in these posts I apologize. So much of the online etiquette is foreign to me.