I don't think Michele says anything about staying in an open M when the S is not willing to stop an A and work with you in the MR. From what I read, when you have tried all that you know to do, and have given your S the time space needed..... and your S will not agree to end the A, then you file for D. Yes, she actually says that in the DR book. But of course, it's up to the LBS as to how long they want to continue in their stitch.
Your W wants to continue with the buddy-buddy system while she conducts her A. Life is easier for "her" that way. If you'll just go along and let her have her OM for her lover, and you for her best friend, then she gets the best of both worlds (she thinks)....known as cake eating.
You did not M her to be her brother. We don't get to be M...yet live like teenagers, or live the singles life and have an A while we live at home with no responsibilities.
Doing the right thing often causes people to leave. So, I believe we have to decide what keeps us from leaving....not them.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
