Abusive spouse accuses "WAW" as "the" problem

[freespirit]

My wife complained that I saw her as a possession and nothing she ever did for me was good enough. I have come to terms that I was verbally abusive to my W even though I never had any intention of ever hurting her.

I believe you ALMW...I believe my husband does not "intend" to hurt me; just control and completely RULE me as he thinks is "his god given right". Hope you have learned respect for her..

I’ve worked on a lot of things but now W doesn’t want to talk to me or be around me and doesn’t believe I’ve changed.

After YEARS of NOT being heard by my LBS; I stopped talking. To try to convince an abusive spouse that "we have had enough" is too tiring.

She is dating somebody else and that is a real test of my anger management along with the divorce papers I got yesterday and the fact that she wiped our computer clean so I couldn’t get at any old photos or videos.

I am sorry to hear that she began dating before your divorce; I do not intend to do that to my LBS; HOWEVER let's say that I will "not be waiting" to date my "first love" as soon as the divorce is final. The hunger for love is so veracious in us WAW; we have lived without it and WITH abuse for a LONG time and feel an urgency to "start our life over" and get it right this time...Sorry for you..glad to see that you are taking care of yourself during this.

Can any of the WAW’s give me some clarity on this phenomenon? Thanks very much for any help.

I am sorry; you are calling NOT loving an abusive man and walking away a phenomenon...it is LIFE. Any woman who respects herself after living with a man who HAS NOT respected her realizes that she must RUN to be free of this oppression. Hope you find clarity and understanding to how your behavior has pushed her away and how you can "go on" and live a happy life without the possibility of "resolve". I know that I don't expect any resolve in my "marriage", dissolve is the closest thing that most of us abused wives get and some get it with the husbands having an affair and thus degrading the marriage and their value even more...sad.