HB, Sorry that I didnt mention my sons age, He is 20, was 18 at the time of the divorce, I had to ask him to go stay with his dad because I could not get him to do anything and he was becoming disrespectful. The day after he left to go to his dads he came back to get some of his stuff and hugged me and told me it was prb for the best that he needed this. We talked by phone and I saw him a few times after that, (they only live around 3 miles from me), then he changed his number and slowly stopped talking to me and grew angry. The stepmom and I had words and my son called me a liar when I tried to explain.....untelling what they are putting in his head. Anyway my ex didnt marry the ow he left me for, she was already married, but he met his now wife soon after. I dont think he takes anything out on her though, he follows her around like a puppy and treats her like Gold. As far as trying to forget his past life with me, I agree. He told me once he wanted to forget I exsisted. He is trying to build himself a new life and family. He refusses to speak to me about our son. HB, I dont know if my ex realizes he made a serious mistake or not? He dont act like he did I rarely see them, so i dont really know.
You may be right; your exhusband, and his wife may very well be filling your son's head with crap about you.
He will figure it all out given time; the knight in shining armor becomes the knight in tarnished armor, all in good time.
Heroes rise and fall everyday.
No matter what happens, you are STILL his mother. In the meantime, you will have to leave him alone, as he's a grown man, now.
I will say this; you don't know what goes on behind closed doors in people's houses..so you really can't say for sure that your husband is not taking his anger out on his wife.
He is still in MLC; and the actions of the MLC'er don't stay "hidden" for very long, before they resurface again.
Just because he remarried doesn't necessarily mean he's "out"...given time, the new will wear off...and things will get bad again; only this time it will NOT be you on the receiving end.
I was looking at your timeline; and it seems his wife got pregnant right off the bat, didn't she?
Honey, from what I can see, you'll need to let go of everything; and get on with your life...your ex husband has remarried; so that closes the door for standing, or it does in my opinion.
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Yes he is old enough to make his own decisions, but in his eyes his dad is his Hero and always has been. SO if dad sees it this way, it must be so. He has adapted to his new life with dad and his new step-mom and left me behind. It is NOT fair because I am missing out on his dating life and all the fun things he is doing.
You'll need to let go of that aspect, you can't "make" your son have anything to do with you; but you can continue to pray for him.
My son is 24 now; and I don't "keep up" with everything he's doing, unless he calls me and lets me know what is up.
He's been on his own since May of last year; and in some ways, though I'm out on the road most of the time, I still miss him; but I KNOW he's taking care of himself...doesn't ask us for anything in the way of help...just has a few questions from time to time on something he's never seen or experienced before.
He doesn't date anyone; I don't think he will until he's ready to try and find "The One".
He does home improvements on his house; and works fulltime in a machine shop as a lathe operator. He's a good, responsible man..we are very proud of him; he's done well.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
