FOBD, I know how you feel. We all know you need to vent and this is the place to do it.
I myself fantasize about being in the town of the OM with a sniper rifle and turning him into a eunich. So don't be to surprised at yourself. These feelings are perfectly normal.
It sounds to me like you are still attached, as we all are to a certain extent. Why bother to DB if we didn't care so much? I had a setback in my sitch: I thought I was peacefully detaching, but when when the process server showed up (even though I was expecting it) it was like bomb day all over again.
But just like after the bomb went off, I will slowley recover sanity and climb back on the horse. You will too. Do what makes you happy. Try working on MD's new year's resolutions.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
