This Storm Shall Pass

[Sanderika]

Hi Cas & GAG & Rabbit,

I haven't posted much on here about me. I can't really figure things out on my own, I'm working on it. I think if I knew what to do and what was going on I would be able to chat, probably makes no sense to anyone reading this (then again it might make perfect sense, LOL).

I have had no contact with my lawyer, she has sent me three letters inquiring about my intent and I can't seem to make up my mind what I want. I want her to leave me alone to think. I am still trying to fire her. She does not want to stop representing me. She feels really bad how she treated me. I'll figure it out.

H and I have had three discussions about dismissing our case. I am afraid to. I know all too well what happened the last time. I don't want a divorce but at the same time I don't trust that things will be any different.

Cas, your D is such a smart girl I love how she thinks!!!

I have been reading along on your interactions with H. It's the same old same old that I experience here. It's exactly what I expect and don't trust. I don't see that they are capable of making a choice to commit back to us and their family.

1) H gets close (of his own choice, "we aren't holding a gun to their heads", and acts like he can't live WITHOUT us).

2) We get close (based solely on the actions by H, "cause we are doing great on our own otherwise", we let our guard down...D*mn-It!!!).

3) H runs (gets scared...goes dark on us, "it's too hot around here", cause in reality they can't come back and live WITH us).

4) We go dark (sick of the BS, which is where we should stay...forever!!!). So...What's wrong here!?

5) H comes back around, for the umpteenth- billionth time (wonders...Why we are distant? and What have we been up to? and What are we doing, right now? Really this is what happens, pathetic....huh!!!).

6) H acts all "lost puppy" like we are "the ones". They start more contact, start coming to house, hangs around, AGAIN!!! (OMG!!!)

7) Go back to Number 1, re-read the list.

Cas, our H's are a textbook act, they have read the lessons and learned them well....I am very sarcastic right now about my situation, I am sorry if I poured it out on you. You have your own sarcasm I am sure.

I wish that I could figure this all out.

I assume you are still holding the "papers". H has not reached out for them. Am I right?

His text today is Number 5, get ready for Number 6....I feel a "lost puppy" moment in his future. You should hold fast at Number 4.

You didn't tell us if or how you responded (I assume you stayed dark on H). I think you are back in the drivers seat.

Cas, you can take the car anywhere you want

I wish I was in the warm weather right now able to get out and sit at a cafe by the ocean and smell the sea breeze (just for the afternoon).

I am near the ocean alright (within 11 miles of the Atlantic we Mainers call it "The Big Ice Cube") but the water is 50 degrees F. It's about 8 degrees F outdoors and we have lots of snow....It's great!!! It's Southern Maine and this is a typical Winter for us.... Actually, I live in a four seasons region and I wouldn't trade a single one of them, there's always something to look forward to.

Hope you finish up on the 999 remaining tasks in your home, my list is somewhere around there too!!

Have a great week, Cas.

Sanderika