YR, I understand your frustration and yes, your h is acting as if nothing is wrong. To him, nothing is wrong. He's withdrawing into himself and I'm sure that's sending up red flags. Take a deep breath and know that this is normal.
The hardest part of the journey is when they are home and trying to feel comfortable in their own skin. I want you to do me a favor...think back to when you began to notice the "withdrawal" again. What happened during that period?
He may not run again....he may be one of the very few that can remain in the home and complete his journey. Right now, it appears that he is comfortable and if there is no pressure added, he may very well stay in the home.
Rose, I know it is annoying....take a deep breath and keep the focus on you and your family right now. He's got to finish up his journey and if washing and cleaning the cars will help him, then let him be. He will talk to you when the time is right.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
