Is the tide turning???????

[courageous wife]

Your H is so dead meat lol!

I tend to agree!
Good job GAG!

[goodattitudegirl]

Thank you CW, dixiegal, Sanderika, Missher, Mila, Cas, Seeking, Rabbit, and Antonia for your continued encouragement and insights!

First of all I want to say that I laughed out loud at work when I read what Rabbit wrote after my post about X-MIL’s birthday party.

Your H is so dead meat lol! Well he’d have to be a eunuch not to surrender to you GAG….

LOVED THAT!!!!!!!! One of my co-workers looked at me like I was nuts, giggling to myself.

Last week he was very engaging and flirty on his own. This week he was very stand-offish and behaving more cold, like they get when they feel we are getting too close.

Secondly, I want to clarify something that I don’t think was clear in my TT debriefing this week. XH was actually in a happier mood at TT this week compared to last week but he may have been preoccupied (as Sanderika thought) about something. I lost an earring on the way into the community center, thought it might have fallen onto my coat or clothes, so asked XH to look to see if he could find it. He said “Do you want me to give you a full body search or something?” I said “Yea!” and I pulled my coat open and motioned to my neck and shirt. He didn’t seem like he wanted to nuzzle my neck or anything but he did accommodate my request and look for the earring……however, I think his word choice (i.e. full body search) was interesting. ……….

For the past 3 weeks or so I’ve been seeing a new pattern in my TT games with XH --- he seems to joke around less during play --- and I am wondering if that change is because my play is improving and he has to concentrate more to keep winning (this is a guess --- I am not certain of this). Many of our games are close……I probably need to refocus on how best to take advantage of the time BEFORE and AFTER the games for reconnecting with XH.

I have been thinking about what Sanderika, Missher, and Rabbit have written about the most effective way to proceed with moving toward more intimate contact with XH.

The Masculine approach Missher suggests (I may be wrong) is that you move at an aggressive rate towards XH sexually.

I have read all of your posts several times and my gut tells me is that I need to be the aggressor physically, but for now that physical contact needs to appear to be innocent or accidental.

What I think is appropriate is looping her arm into his when walking closely together, touching his arm when he is showing her is ipad, resting her hand on his leg as she gets closer to see what he is pointing too, pressing her body into his when they hug....Additionally, telling him that she likes for him to touch her....

I like ALL of these ideas Missher. I brushed my leg against XH’s leg while looking at his iPad and it seemed to work very well. I plan to do all of the others too. Based on how timid XH was to initiate kissing and sexual contact at the beginning of our romance, but then jumped in totally after I initiated those, my gut tells me that the only way we will become more intimate emotionally and physically is if I initiate. My gut tells me that more preliminary flirtations over the next few weeks will give me a sense for where Mr. GAG is with respect to his openness to more intimate contact before we get to that crossroad. An attempt at a real kiss could be a possibility in the not so distant future.

The difference in GAG's sitch is that she is already divorced.....physical contact or sexual contact will not come across as a means to prevent him from leaving her, he is already gone. He has his freedom......she is trying to ATTRACT him back.......

I think this observation is key to my dynamic with Mr. GAG. I think that if GF#2 really IS out of the picture, that XH will respond very differently to these overtures than he might have over the past few months.

What are the dynamics between XH and BMF's XW?

Sanderika, this is a good question. I really think that they are like brother and sister. She talks incessantly and isn’t his type.

Rabbit, from your post it sounds as though you see parallels between your reconnection with Mr. Rabbit and my current interactions with Mr. GAG. I am very interested in your suggestions.

I seduced him then kept leaving little titbits, he kept coming back to visit the cat and staying longer and longer..

I’m wondering if it makes a difference that you had Mr. Rabbit coming to your home. So far, Mr. GAG doesn’t seem to want to come to my house (our former home) too easily. I dropped hint about stopping by my house to taste test some new olive oil I bought. I’ll let that percolate a bit and see if anything comes of it. Do you think I can make the same transition that you did by going out to restaurants after TT with XH? He won’t be able to stay longer and longer like Mr. Rabbit did because the restaurant has to close sometime.

After he’s missed you we need to find more situations to keep him in your company longer,….

I agree! I bought 2 of our local metropolitan magazines to look for events and new restaurants in the area. XH told me at the bday party that he is trying to learn Spanish (I think he’s trying to stimulate his brain). I studied Spanish in high school so maybe I can suggest a field trip to a Mexican restaurant for him to practice. I’m thinking finger food and a chance to feed Mr. GAG. I just started taking French cooking classes and have decided to try to learn some French. Thinking that I can start keeping our TT scores in Spanish and French. Thinking that at the end of the night I can whisper sweetly in Mr. GAG’s ear “Bonne nuit, Mr. GAG”.

A couple more miscellaneous notes to add:
---when I saw XH’s iPad photo album, I saw that our professional wedding photos were among the photos there.
---when XH walked me to my car after the birthday party he said “There’s a place in heaven for you”. That was interesting…………..From an attraction perspective I’m not sure whether that’s good or bad.

In retrospect it seems that things have been moving forward with XH over the past 6 weeks since I began flirting with XH and we’ve spent more time together. I plan to not initiate contact with XH until he contacts me or until our TT game Wednesday, whichever occurs first.

GAG

[dolphin_05]

I love reading your updates GAG and you are getting great advice from the others. I'm reluctant to offer too much these days as i think you're doing so well using your intuition and implementing the suggestions of others. Sounds so, so positive. Take care.

Cas

[Sanderika]

Hi GAG,

Thanks for adding more of your interactions, I am pleased that in your first posts I was misled in my thoughts. I now think that I was wrong in assuming that XH was retreating. I think he is progressing very nicely in a forward motion.

It is so obvious that XH is flirting with you. I am in agreement that the OW is gone. We all know all too well that while an OW is in the picture reconciling is impossible. YOU now have a chance at rekindling things with XH, your chance will never get any better than right now, take advantage of this time. BE the one he wants to be with in his life. You're already on the right path....YOU have caught his attention!!!

In response to Rabbit's comments and your question on how to prolong a visit after TT when the restaurant closes......

You move the fun to your place or his "eventually"

Your wedding photos on his iPad is even huge...r (I made up my own word here) than I originally thought too, OMG this is amazing for you!!!!!!!!

Mr. GAG is doing very well following your cues. Just remember not to rush him too fast. I think you will know when the time is right to initiate more physical sexual contact. I think you will see it in his eyes and it will come when he is lingering about in hesitation to part company.

GAG, you are doing great, everything will be fine. Just remember to remain calm and patient and know that time is on your side right now.

Have a wonderful week....

Sanderika

[courageous wife]

So nice to come on the boards and read some positives! I hope your thread never gets deleted! Hoping someday I will need to come and follow your playbook!!!!

Have a great day GAG!!!

[AntoniaB]

This is like a novel! Glad to hear things are going well for you GAG.

[Lost Rabbit]

Love the spanish idea, can just see you saying "hasta luego" with a glint of "come to bed eyes" lol!

All the interactions are about making him feel manly, and important and desired in your eyes.. we all get bogged down in life, shopping and just getting by and needs arnt met and before we know its gone pear shaped! Maybe it wouldnt hurt to throw in a few one liners now of how you appreciate things/times/opinions.

Things that used to get Mr Rabbits attention was when I started talking about being independant and having found parts of me I'd lost and I should never have given up, and how they got lost being a mum and forgetting to be a woman, that I wasnt just a wife but I was always a woman..

Now they get used when Im feeling Im losing them again or Mr Rabbit is slipping back into old habits that he thought were bad enough to leave me for, so I kindly point them out, that he is disrespecting me by doing them again when they were so important for him to have he left me!

On a time span it took me six months from total seduction (wink wink) to get him back home full time so its not a quick process..

After a couple of dates at restaurants invite him back home for lunch.. then one of my fab moments was the "carpet picnic"
Literally it is what I describe, get a rug and some some feedable picnic bits.. warm samosa's, olives, dips tortilla chips and lay out a picnic on a rug on the carpet in the lounge.. after putting stuff in the kitchen veg out on rug, having now been littered with cushions and accidental lighting of candles.. lots of hair twiddling now required and male flattery is essential, and see if you can get past half an hour still talking lol!

Glad I made you laugh hun, I think youre now getting to the fun bit (()0

[Mila]

GAG - All I see is progress...slow but progress....if I remove all the details and look at the big picture the bottom line is that your XH wants you in his life more and more and looks for or accepts opportunities to be with you.

As to how to take it to the next/intimate level? Be true to your self, what would the old GAG do in the old days when you were courting? You have the advantage of knowing what makes him tick...what are his love languages...unless the MLC changed him that way too.

Lots of interesting ideas from many posters.... (((hugs)))

[Sanderika]

Hi GAG,

Not quite sure where you live, I do have a general idea....

We are in the midst of "the biggest storm in US history" according to Al Roker on NBC....Huh? I am not sure about that, the US has seen some doozies!!!!!

Anyway, I hope the weather did not affect your week too badly and you and XH are still on for a whopper of a game of TT this evening.

Since we have not heard an update from you this week, I am going to assume your game is still on for tonight.

I am sending you wishes for "delightful fun" as you "entertain" each other with.....................

You can fill in the rest

I hope your "cookin'" up something special for Mr. GAG!!!!

We all will be looking for an update in the wee hours tomorrow.

Sanderika

[goodattitudegirl]

Sanderika thanks for the "attagirl" today! Much appreciated since today is my weekly TT game with Mr. GAG. No problem with the weather here (other than normal COLD temperatures) since we were on the northern fringes of that massive winter storm and only got about 3-5 inches on monday. I'm betting that you have a lot more snowfall where you are than I do at this point. We've had ~60 inches so far this season. That's a lot for us.

No posts from me since X-MIL's birthday party because there has been no contact since then. I have waited for Mr. GAG to initiate ---- and this morning he texted me "TT at 6?" and I replied "TT yes! See you @ 6PM". He replied "Roger GAG!", so I texted "Hey! My name is not Roger, but I"ll let you call me that under special circumstances if your like" followed by an emoticon with red lips and long eyelashes. (Planting seeds, planting seeds.)

I have been reading and re-reading everyone's posts to get myself in the proper frame of mind. I've scoped out a new little neighborhood restaurant nearby that I'm going to invite Mr. GAG to after the game and have been practicing my numbers in Spanish to keep score. I like Rabbit's idea of finding an opportunity to tell Mr. GAG that since I left academics and don't have to chest butt my competition I have enjoyed rediscovering my womanly side.

Debrief after the game!

GAG