What I said right from the start. Your H has no incentive to change. It will be up to you to intiate a change in the R. You will have to be the risk taker. Do you want the status quo to go on so long that you are so sick of him that you will never have a chance to save the marriage? Action taken sooner rather than later is always best. I don't know what the actions may be, but it will involve sitting and saying, "H, it cannot go on like this much longer. Are we going to have a good marriage or not?"
