Thank you Hope I guess it really just depends on what time of day you catch me. I knew today would be a rough day for me since my daughters party was today. Also some friends came that I haven't seen since W left. They were our hanging out partners. We took vacations together and went out to dinner at least once a month as couples. It reminded me that my family is currently broken.
Seeing them really affected me. I don't know if this is normal but I feel shame in losing my W around them. Almost like I did something wrong. I know those feeling are not fair but I can't control them. It is just a rough night. By the way I didn't send roses I thought that would be too pushy I just sent an arrangement of lilies, roses, poms but there were only two roses and they were pink and yellow.
Today like many days in the past I see a future without W and I don't like it. I asked my DB straight up "you've done over 6000 phone calls please don't spare my feelings I can take it. Do you really see any hope here?" Her response "absolutely"
I guess the patience thing is tough when you see such a small victory like I think I had this week you expect so much more but when it doesn't happen you get let down. Just venting a little hope you don't mind
