I don't know how to fly the Space Shuttle

[Firstlove]

Sandi2

Hey thanks for the reply and input, all good comments and advice for sure. During the first two months of separation your description of my WAW was spot on - she wanted 100% nothing to do with me, just reverberated with "LEAVE ME ALONE" - I had not found DB yet and did all the wrong things, continued to chase her and in fact "smother her" - 100% the WRONG WRONG WRONG thing to do. My only defense is if I were a smarter man in the first place, I would not be separated after 33 years of marriage, so my only defense is long term stupidity, which continued for the first two or three months of the separation.

You are also so correct on my GAL approach to life. I have been doing exactly that, hitting the gym a lot more than usual and amping up on my work-out program and enjoying that a lot actually. I am reconnecting with friends on a more regular basis, doing a lot more reading and getting involved a lot more with my church, so all of that is very good.

My desire is to become a more attractive man to my wife, and I am sure that is going to take a lot of time and effort. One of the challenges I must admit to is the loneliness of being separated. In my "circle of friends" its well known that I am separated and to be quite honest, I have been asked out by a number of women who "assume" that I am going to date because I am separated. Nothing could be further from the truth, no dates for me, and I don't care how long this takes or how frustrating it becomes, I am married and I am remaining faithful to my wife, irrespective of the fact that she has no interest in building a new marriage with me. I have decided to treat her like my best friend no matter how she treats me, and we will just see what happens.

I am not over there putting myself into her life, I have in fact "Let Go" and am doing only those things relative to contact that she asks me to. When she needs a favor done, I do it, and I do it gladly. The contact is very minimal and it may be two weeks between any contact whatsoever, and when there is contact, its for an hour at the most. So be it, she is in "control" of our interaction, not me. If she needs something she knows she can call me and I will be there for her.

You ask a good question of "how far am I from the man she married" - I am going to have to think about that before I answer it because that is an excellent question.

Thanks for the input and wise counsel- its greatly appreciated.

Mr. Firstlove