SA, You will feel a lot better once you've spoken to a lawyer. I would offer you one caution, do not allow your lawyer to talk you into things that you do not want nor push you to rush things. He/she is being paid a pretty penny to advise and protect you, not he other way around.
As for the mlcer feeling trapped and resentful...I've not seen too many that didn't feel this way. Mine went from a rather nice person to an angry bull in the china closet when the separation agreement was presented to him and he stayed that way for 2 1/2 year. After the divorce, I didn't hear nor see him for almost 3 years. I'm sure he was a complete nut during that time.
I know that you are a bit concerned about his reaction, but SA, you didn't ask for none of this and now you have to protect yourself and your family. You must protect yourself financially.
Good luck!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
