Yesterday after work I was taking a cat nap on the bed. W strolls in and shuts the door, fuming. Said D17 overheard our fight the night of 1/24.
W says D17 is worried about selling the house and having to move. I gave the mantra, "These are the consequences of your choices". Then she starts venomously accusing me of trying to hurt her but I am only going to hurt the kids. I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I did let her know I couldn't live with her in a R with an OM. If spliting up involves selling the house, that's it. So she says I could re-finance and afford to keep it. Mind you, the papers are full of legaleze, and I don't know how much of a buy out she wants. So I stood my ground, but it appears W is resigned to the possibility she'll have to move out, 'cause I wont, let have her cake. Then she gets into how the kids will prefer to be with her, and she does all their stuff, kind of fishing for me to give up the house. That ended in a stalemate.
Alright, this morning she comes out and starts again with the venom. (The other night 1/24 in my anger I called her a piece of crap, she has a problem with that.) She doesnt like my playing "Evil Woman" by ELO. I said I was being passive agressive. I said I didn't have a dictionary handy, "What do you call someone who pursues a R with an OP while still married?" "What's the word for that.?" Oh man, we're getting into war of the roses stuff.
Again she has a problem with selling the house, making the kids choose, making the kids have to move blah blah. Finally the agrument gets to the OM. She insists her decision to D has nothing to do with him. I say, "where is your intuition? It was always about him for me." She says the D is about our "lack of a marriage." I said I accept responsibility for 50% of that, but none of responsibility for the EA.
Then I screwed up. I said you lied when you said wouldn't be going to see him all the time, you're planning another trip in Feb. She put's 2&2 together and say's I've been in her email, "that's illegal". I said yes, "LBS's snoop, that's what we do." She's already taking me to court anyway right? I told her, "if you don't get an annulment, I'll always be your H and you'll always be cheating on me." Then she drops this one, "It's only cheeting if it's behind your back." Huh? Then she doesn't want to listen anymore, and walks off in a huff.
Some moments later she's back. I cut her off and called OM a predator, I asked. "How did he find you, he didn't know your married last name?" She walks off again. She's got revising history and justifying down to a science, but I think her fantasy is beginning to crumble.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
