I understand, and you did the right thing by leaving the note, 'catching' him doing something right.
I doubt that your H's refusal has to do with lack of care. Men often have different ideas about roles and responsibilities, and even their own capabilities about doing these things. Culture plays a big role in it. It is more modern and more western, as I understand it, for women to expect men to do these things. You H may have an 'expert mind' about this....not very open. It's starting to change and stretch. Give him time, and do what you're doing--catching him doing something right.
