I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now. Losing a parent can be really tough esp if you were close.
The best thing you can do right now is take care of YOU. I know it's hard, but you sound like you're making some progress. Just remember it all has to be for you, not him.
Sometimes dreams like that can throw you for a loop. It's just your brain working things out. I don't know that they mean anything and if they do, you're the only one that can decipher it since it's your symbolism.
I have kept a dream journal off and on for years and it's interesting to look at them and see what they were helping me work out.
