Till death do us part... or she leaves...

[FellOnBlackDays]

BITS,
I want you guys to know that I am sitting here with a lump in my throat and it is not for the reason you would expect. Words cannot express the gratitude I feel right now for the posts and friendship that has come my way here. I am getting choked up reading your replies. All of them!!! 2step and Lostnscared, your post were some of the most insightful words I have ever read on here. The hair on the back of my neck is standing up right now. I simply cannot find the words to thank each of you. I want each of you to know that I will go to bed tonight with a new outlook on tomorrow. You guys are absolutely amazing!

I promise I won't let her push me anymore. I know that is what she is doing. She is trying really hard to get me to be who I used to be. Emotional, irrational, angry, argumentative. But I will not give it to her. OMG, I never thought about the EA in that frame of mind. Lost, you have some nice insight there. If she wanted to cheat, she could have done it right here in our town. Why didn't I think of that?

As for my C, I am going to stay with him for now and I am going to explain why. Although he has the bargaining skills of an angry pitbull, he makes me think. I will begin to take any advice he gives me regarding my M with a grain of salt. But, I have to admit I really like the other advice he gives me. Much of what he has told me to do in my life outside of my M has worked as he promised. So, for now, I am going to stay with him and come here for my M advice!

I do appreciate the concern and I want you guys to know that I had a really good day today. I actually woke up before the alarm today, the water temp in my shower this morning was just right, I ate a nice breakfast, I had a good day with some of my clients, I opened up two new leads for my business, there was no traffic on the way home tonight and I had one of the best days ever in the gym tonight. I set a new personal best for myself on a couple of exercises. On the way out of the gym, I noticed the weather was beautiful. As I have indicated before, I live in a Gulf Coast state and it was around 60 tonight when I stepped out into the parking lot. It was cool with no clouds and no humidity. I smiled. It reminded me of nights when my W and I would go to a little place around the corner from our home and eat dinner in the courtyard. But instead of crying or getting down, I simply smiled and told myself, "You are going to be all right. You are going to make it. You will find a way. You always do, buddy." I drove to the local market, picked up some nice fresh vegetables and a roasted chicken. I made myself a nice dinner, enjoyed an imported beer and came here to be with my friends. Yes, today was a good day!

Team, you have inspired me. So tonight I am going to sit here and pay it forward by checking on you guys and trying to return the favor. I hope I can bring the same joy to your evening that you have brought to mine.

Just to let you know, she wants to come over tomorrow for some other items. I will unfortunately have to see her. Funny, two weeks ago I would have stepped over a fallen elderly person to be in the same room with her. Now, I kind of dread seeing her. Oh well. I promise I will DB my *ss off. I have to as I don't want to let you guys down.

Sunday, unfortunately, will be a different situation. That is the day I have to tell my grandmother that she won't be getting that grandchild she wants any time soon...

I want to finish with these lyrics from a Dido song I heard today. I find them inspirational:

"And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be"

BITS never walk alone!

Your friend,

FOBD