Had a dream last night about H. First time since he left almost a year ago. It was a weird dream. He had come back home for some reason and we started to talk. He told me he had been with alot of women since we split up. Then the next sequence is foggy. Then all I remember is that we were sitting next to each other on the couch in the Den watching a movie. He looked into my eyes and saw that I was teary. He then pulled my head down so that I can lay on his lap and had his hand over me to hold mine. That's how the dream ended. When I woke up today, it was so vivid.
I don't know why I had this dream nor if it means anything. I was happy to have had the dream, but as the day has gone by, it just made me really sad. I had a good cry tonight. First time in a while. Not in a very good place tonight. This is that ambivalence I feel from time to time.
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
