Newbie- Very Lost- Not Sure where to start

[tdb68]

thanks dbmod, I have been sitting here reading the book and checking the board periodically this evening. Both have minor struggles at work, but she seems to have "snapped" when I went after the "friend" in rage, and i agree with Mr Bonds' comment earlier, there is still some unfinished business with the A. Although, every time I have tried to bring it up.. I get "you are going to hold my one mistake over my head forever" as a response, after all of the things you have done in the last 19 years. I have to admit, I didn't do a very good job as a H, but have really spent the last 18 months working on myself, trying to be a better me.. and take care of myself, and be much more gentle and not as "controlling". We share everything now..parenting..finances...cooking.. household chores, etc...that is why i remain so confused, and just continue to work on myself and stay as level as i can day to day... and keep hoping (and reading and learning) so that I don't push her any further away. Just finished the first chapter and my mind is open.. I am just so confused how everything can go from very far into rebuilding..renewed passion..date nights..etc..etc.. to a screaching halt with one outburst???