Thanks dbmod. This is all very informative. I am uncomfortable cutting off all communication initiated by me. I did this prior to the bomb being dropped and it didn't help the situation. I do I think that I need to drop the gifts and favours because I agree that they are a form of pursuit. I think they make my wife feel guilty.
In terms of the OM, I believe that he showed admiration, interest and listened to her issues. I am trying to be there for my wife, show interest in what she is doing and listen. Withdrawing from her at this time would only strengthen the OM position. I do think that cutting my wife off completely would be a step backwards.
Anything related to pursuing, needs to come to an end.
I do need to stop pursuing and this will be the first change that I make. Giving her some additional space would be an option to cutting her off completely. I do need to try something different as things seem to have stalled out.
