Maybe the numbness you're feeling is just what you need for a while. There were days when I was so bereft and so tired I wished I could feel numb and the best I could do was go to sleep.
I wonder if the way this works is that every day you have to decide if the promise (and likelihood) of reconciliation is worth the energy it takes to feel and act on hope. If you have many days of feeling it's not worth it, maybe that will give you the will to accept the end of the marriage. I don't know. I do know right now that you're here because you want your marriage to survive, so I'm wishing for you more strong, hopeful, patient days.
Peace,
Rebecca
M: 43 H: 44 M: 12.5 if the 5.5 year separation counts Bomb (I dropped it): Dec '07 H said finit: Jun '10 I moved on: May '13