Need advice please!!! Not sure on next move?

[MrBond]

Okay, I'm assuming you're asking me for an honest opinion. So here goes.

I think he asked you about the dinner thing to be polite because he saw you crying. There were several opportunities where you could have ended things with him, but didn't.

Even when he asked if you if you were going back to work, you should have just told him no, that you had plans. Also, the fact that he came late to begin with was pretty rude.

That alone shows his attitude towards his R towards you. He feels he can come and go as he pleases without any regard to what your plans may be.

But here's the thing. Things can get better! How? By you BEING better. I know it's tough to not get weak in the knees when you see him. But you need to put the emphasis back on you. I have faith in you and that you can do it.

You mentioned that he contacted you after he left. What did he say?

[dixiegal]

Thanks Mr. Bond!

Your so correct on all counts...I beat myself up over it.....

However, H DID NOT contact me after he left. I have not heard from him since he left.

I agree with you...about the Dinner. I hadnt teared up at that point. It wasnt till later when I apologized.

But, regardless....that's not happening.....

Thanks Mr. Bond....I'm trying for sure....Thanks for your feedback and continued support!

[FellOnBlackDays]

Dixie,
Bond is right on. You need to make sure that you don't let him walk all over you. My W kept doing the same thing to me. We would plan a meeting to get together to split up goods or make logistical plans for her move. And every damned time, she would try to change the plans at the last minute. Sometimes as late as one hour before we were to meet, she would try to change the meeting time or place. Because I was scared and lonely, I would let her do it. But, that all came to a halt three weeks ago.

I had been working pretty hard on my DB'ing skills and I had told my C about her behavior. He told me I had to put a stop to it. I thought long and hard about how I was going to do it and I waited. Sure enough, she tried it again. We made plans to meet at our house at 7pm. These plans were finalized at 10am that morning. At 2 pm, I get a text requesting a change in time to 8pm. I agreed. Then at 5pm, I get another text asking for a public place. I blew my freaking top!!! But, I took a breath, calmed down and text'ed her back the following:

"I am trying my best to meet your needs, but I have already agreed to the change in time and I think I have been more than fair with you. We will meet at 8pm at our house or we will not meet at all."

15 minutes later I got this long apology text stating that she would agree to my terms and she went on and on about how she was not trying to be difficult. To that I say, "Bullsh*t." Dixie, they left. They walked away. WE DON'T OWE THEM ANYTHING!!! Next time he shows up late, politely point out to him that he is late and that you had plans that he is now infringing upon. Watch and see what happens next time. As long as you lay down, he will wipe his feet on you. You are a proud Southern woman. Demand the respect you deserve.

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD

[Denver_2010]

Bond and FOBD are giving you good advice Dixie. Focus on taking some control back from your H. You do this by detaching and GALing. Again, I think that you should go really dark for a while.

Sorry that I don't have time to write more. It is late and I am very tired.

BITS
Denver

[dixiegal]

Morning Yall,

I just want to tell everyone THANK YOU for your continued support and non judgement. It has been a blessing and life saver that I can come here and share my thoughts/pain/desire to save my marraige!

It really is a comfort...I pray everyday that my story will end in a sucess...but, I pray for all of yall too! That we all will make it and that GOD will restore our marraige's!

Love and Blessings to yall!

Dixie