Lost, hurt and scared ...

[MeMyselfandI]

You are right Eric, that is what I'm trying to do is nothing and the only one I can control is me.

As for the D, I did have him served, (back in September when I had not yet grabbed onto the DR principles and was angry and bitter). There was no response from him or his L so as of December, I could bring my paperwork in a D would be final in 30 days. I have not filed the final paperwork and plan to keep it that way until I feel I'm ready to (hopefully never). He told me at the time he was in no hurry to get the D done.

You are also right that others knowing will do nothing. In fact, I would go one step further to say it may be counterproductive and hurt and confuse him more ... and from what I'm reading, he's already confused and hurting enough that it's the last thing he needs. I find it frustrating sometimes that I do not have someone to confide in, but now, alas I have these boards and I'm so very grateful for that.

Thank you for taking the time to post and putting things into perspective.