Living Like Roomates 2

[Gnosis]

We both know this can't go on indefintely,

You're mistaken. It can.

but for now the ball is in their court.

Because you have chosen to put it there. We are human beings and we have freedom of choice. How we choose to exercise that choice is what determines our lives.

It is so hard for me not to confront my W about some of her actions. Sometimes I just want to be very blunt and tell her to make up her mind already. Then I read somewhere here, "If someone wanted to shoot you, you wouldn't hand them the gun!"

I agree with this to a certain extent. If you are doing this to "blow off steam" is a NOT a good idea. You have to determine what the purpose of confrontation would be. You have to weigh the consequences of the confrontation. Both good and bad. If your purpose is to lay down a boundary then be prepared to face up to the consequences.

Let me share something with the two of you... it's so obvious that people miss it. Everything you do has consequences... everything you DON'T do has consequences. For that reason you have to weigh your actions and in-actions. Determine the results of both and choose the ones that yield the most favorable results.

I'm thinking whats going on here, she never texted me before. I didn't reply, but I told her last night I rec'd them and that was nice.

I'd like to touch on this because it's very important.

Don't UNDERESTIMATE the power of silence

You have felt the affects of it by being shut out of your WAW's life. I'll let you in on a little secret... it works BOTH ways. Too many LBH's try to fix this by "talking." Talking does not work. Talking about feelings is a feminine trait. Masculine traits are taking action, trying to fix etc.

Try the power of silence. Coldwinter is getting a taste of this. The moment you stop pursuing and stop "talking" i.e. making noise WAW's take notice. Then they want to know what is going on...

So what do LBH's do? They open up and share IMMEDIATELY... thinking the WAW is coming around. Once her curiosity is easily satisfied she turns around and carries on with the status quo. Don't open up so easily.

Let the silence be your friend for a change. Stay dark. Don't open up. Don't talk too much. Stay mysterious and be elusive.

I don't come here often and I've spent too much time already. I'll share a few more things with you:

1) Your fears of losing your WAW's is a lie. The truth is you have already lost them. The sooner you can honestly come to terms with this the easier it will be to DB.
2) Don't take a temperature check every day. Women are emotional creatures... their feelings fluctuate faster than alternating current. Instead LOOK FOR CONSISTENCY in their behavior and actions over a set period of time: two weeks at least.
3) Beware of false reconciliation where they say what you want them to say in order to get you to "get with the program". When a WAW wants back in she is glaringly obvious. She will pursue you and try to reassure you on her own accord. You don't need to spell out what it is you want. She will WORK to convince you that she is being sincere. Watch out for crocodile tears.