I went back and read; not from the beginning, but from where the OW was so hard to get rid of..then, I read forward.
From what I can see; he left the tunnel, but something was MISSING within him, I believe, because he exited too quickly like my own husband did; and he covered it up whatever issue he was trying to bypass; trying to set it aside; and not face it; while he was supposed to be settling his issues within himself; he was struggling within.
This is what I gather from reading your posts; you posted that you'd both made it to the other side in August of 2008.
2 1/2 years later; he turns up with another issue...he made it farther than my husband did within the settling down process...as my husband's showed up around 2 years after his exit.
Not trying to compare the situations; but I was very surprised at the times between tunnel exit; and the additional issue(s) coming back on our husbands.
Apparently; looking at my experience; and your experience, once the MLC'er exits the tunnel; if they try to set aside what is too painful to face; it catches up within two years, give or take, after exiting.
It puts another dimension on the crisis; but there is STILL hope as long as you love your MLC spouse.
MLC is a definitely a process; and timelines aren't helpful; as each person and crisis/transition is definitely different.
Even I didn't go by the "guide" I'd written so long ago; and so, I do tell people to disregard the timeline; it can be longer, or shorter, depending on the MLC'er.
Anyway; maybe this will help, too.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
