H also told D that when OW moves back they will buy a house and D can live a week with them and week with me....great. I asked and you would like that? She said it would be OK, I would see dad more. I said what about the OW, you would be OK living there? D said "she is nice to me"....then she quickly added "I know she is not nice for what she did to you"
I would hate OW forming a relationship with my D...but there is nothing I can do if it comes to that...
Hi Mila,
This is hard. Soooooooo hard. Not sure if you've followed my sitch or not, but stbxH moved OW in on a casual basis sometime late October, and then in November when he moved from the apt to the house, moved her (and OWD7) in full time. Because we do a week on/week off schedule, OW now spends as much time with my kids as I do.
I recently took our province's "Positive Parenting from Two Homes" course and truly the one thing that stood out to me was the statement your children must know that they have YOUR permission to love their other parent. Regardless of how careful we are, regardless of how high the road we walk is ... our children still feel torn. They love us both. Depending on their ages and level of knowledge surrounding the events, they will have a variety of feelings about the WAS's actions but they do still love us both. As they should.
Children are brilliant at reading body language, they are sensitive beyond measure when it comes to our feelings and moods. It's obvious that your daughter knows how you feel. It's also obvious that she wants to spend more time with her Dad.
For we LBSs it can be very hard to separate ourselves from our kids ... we often feel like they have left all of us, when often what they are doing, or trying to do, is leave the marriage. Now ... before anyone jumps all over me, yes, I know that many MLCers walk away from their children at least temporarily, and yes they have destroyed our families by their actions ... but the reality is that the parental relationship remains if they choose for it to.
I once told a friend, remember to DB your kids ... validate their feelings. Your daughter misses her Dad, let her know that it's ok to feel that way. And then hug her while you thank your lucky stars that OW is nice to her.
(((hugs))) Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
... validate their feelings. Your daughter misses her Dad, let her know that it's ok to feel that way. And then hug her while you thank your lucky stars that OW is nice to her. 
