Called the wife late yesterday afternoon to chat about after work activities re the kids etc. Wife said she couldn't talk because she was under a time crunch to get a report submitted.
Found out later that although she didn't have time to talk with me, she did have time to go out for coffee (just prior to me calling)with the OM. This is difficult to take on a couple of fronts:
1) The fact that she continues to see the OM 2) No update from her as to the status of our relationship 3) She makes time for the OM even when she doesn't have the time
I would like to confront her on this, but am not sure what the impact would be. Is this the quick path to divorce? Should I just hang back and hope that their flame dies out?
When I initially confronted her about the EA, she told me that she was not going to have any contact with the OM until she made up her mind as to whether she was going to stay or leave. Either she lied, (very likely) or she has made up her mind and has not told me.
Any advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated.
Man, I'm sorry to hear that Punchy. When she told you that she wouldn't have contact with OM while she made up her mind to stay or leave, was that in response to a solid boundary that you put into place? In other words, did you tell her that there would be any consequences if she did have contact?
If yes, you have to enforce the consequences now. IMO.
If not, you have the 2 choices that I was struggling with a couple of weeks ago. 1) the hard line approach, or 2) the wait and see approach. I chose the 'wait and see', and it seems that I am having very positive results right now.
If you continue to choose the 'wait and see' approach, you need to continue to 180 and GAL. As my DB Coach told me, BE the better man, the better option.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
