Update, things were going really well. It all started on the 21st, I received a letter from my lawyer stating that I needed to choose a realotor to sell our home. I contacted H by text and asked if he could please call me and if we could have a civil conversation.
He called right away, I told him about the letter and went totally against DBusting because I just got fed up and something or God was telling me to tell H how I really felt. I told H that I love him and I know he loves me too, and this is getting out of hand with the money we are spending on lawyers that neither one of us have, and it's getting down to the bottom line and we need to stop being so stubborn and H really needs to think about what he wants and not what other people want him to do. H was always very easily influenced when going through one of his depression episodes. H started to cry, and said that he was so confused and didn't know what he wanted to do.
So I just told him he needed to make a decision by the 28th as far as if he wanted to put the D on hold until he knew what he wanted 100% since he was the one that was pursuing the D, and that there was nothing on my end that I could do. So I just ended the conversation and said, when you know give me a call so I know what to tell my lawyer and he asked if we could talk some more on Sunday since he was going to have our D14 and his two sons on Saturday, and that our D14 would probably want to come home early and his sons always leave early on Sundays. I said sure.
So not 2 hours later he is sending me a forward text joke, and when I didn't respond he texted me again and said "I guess you didn't find the text too amusing." So I responded by saying you are sooo bad. And H said Ya I know. Then he came back with I didn't mean to wake you, and I said you didn't wake me.
This part was Dbusting because I usually work on Friday nights at my second job but H doesn't know because it's under the table on Friday nights but I had called off because I was feeling so down and out. So H probably assumed that I sit home on Friday nights and sleep or sit by myself. Next thing you know he is calling and we talked about talking some more on Sunday, and he told me that he was out and was going to stop for a beer at this bar we both know of, and then was going home to bed.
It was only 7:30 but he starts work at 4:00 a.m. I said okay, I have to go now anyway, and he asked why so I told him I needed to get finished getting ready because I was going out (big fib). He asked where I was going and I told him and he said oh, I can't go there because I was kicked out 12 years ago (I didn't ask him to go), so I said it's a nice place and he can still go there, they would never remember from that long ago. So again I tell him I have to get going, and he said to me "don't go out", I said why not? He said I want to talk tonight, and I said no, I'm going out because the kids are gone for the night and he was going to have to go to bed early and I didn't want to come home after we talked, because I had a chance to go with my friends.
Now, he never ever stays up and has not asked me to do anything as far as a date in over 2 years, and the first time was in Dec. and now he says, I'll pick you up so you don't have to drive and you can just stay at my place. I told him the only way I would go out with him is if I slept on his couch. I just didn't want to go through the pain of ML and then leaving again, I didn't tell him that though. So he picks me up we have a great conversation on the way to his place, and it continued until 11:30 and he made me something to eat, it was a total 180 for him since he left. He asked me to please contact his family because he wants everyone to get along and make peace. So, I agreed.
So, he tells me he is going to bed and hands me blankets and a pillow and I told him Goodnight. He then says, this is crazy lets go, you aren't sleeping on a couch (I'm sure he just wanted sex), so anyway we do end up ML. Keep in mind my H has to have feelings for someone to ML to them. He was always like that, he never had a one night stand even before we got married.
The next morning which was Saturday we get up and go down and lay on the couch for a little while and I told him I needed to get home because our D14 would be home in a little while. He said no problem I have to go to the store and stuff and asked if I would bring D14 down if she wasn't ready by the time he got finished shopping and things. I told him yes.
I wrote a 3 page letter saying that I was sorry if I had offended anyone in anyway, and was extremely nice (now remember, these people hurt me so bad that H didn't speak to them for 12yrs.), thinking it is the right and Godly thing to do as far as forgiving. They had a conversation about my son who was only 4 at the time and H wanted to adopt him. H and I both heard them having a fit and calling my son names and everything. So before I could even get off the couch H is furious gets off the couch and says that's it, I tried to yell to him to stop but he ran out of the house and went straight to his mother's house and told her off. Told her how she only buys for our daughter and never does anything for my son and her and the rest of the family claimed they loved me and my son before and after we got married and what did she think I was going to do once married. Drop son off somewhere on the streets. I know H was expecting them to accept me again in their lives like they did him a year and a half ago. He kept telling me how much his sister changed and so on. She was a very mean and evil person behind peoples back and H knew it. Well It didn't go well at all. I couldn't have been nicer, asked if me and my son would be welcome in their lives again for H's sake, forgive each other, and so on. Told them that I was happy D14 got to know them again and on and on. And that H really needed peace right now because he was going through such a rough time.
So Sunday comes D14 comes home around noon, and says Daddy said he will call you later because the boys didn't leave yet. Around 5:00 he calls, and I knew it was coming because he has to get up at 12:00 a.m. to be at work for 2:00 a.m., and when he didn't call by around 3:00, I knew we weren't going to get together and talk. He told me that his sister had replied to my letter through a message on Facebook but he didn't know what my letter said or what her response was and all he knew was that his mother said it wasn't nice. He acted like he didn't care at that moment whether they accepted me or not and was talking about when he comes home and how he wanted to do this and that. He told me that the boys just left and he needed to go to bed. I just said, I figured that had happened and he said I will call you tomorrow. Well, Monday came along and nothing.
Then Tuesday, I still didn't hear from him so I sent him a voice mail, saying not to worry about his sister and I would never keep him away from his extended family or make him feel bad for being in their lives and that I can accept her and the rest of them not accepting me and for him not to worry. And to give me a call so we could continue talking. That was around 12:30 in the afternoon. So around 6:30 p.m. I get the following text: To everybody please stop calling me and texting me. Very very tired of everybody's s***. So go on with your lives and leave me be. I was like what the heck???? What is going on, and didn't know if it was for me or what to think. Then got nervous cause my counselor said once before that he went to said he can become suicidal between not taking his meds and drinking. So I panicked and called him left a message and texted him and asked if he was ok, and what was going on, and told him just to at least call or text me so I knew he was okay. Then it hit me, I thought his sister was contacting him also either Monday or Tuesday and just told him that I was nice in my letter and not to worry about anything.
Never heard a word since, so I have to contact the lawyer today so I sent a voice mail just saying I know you don't want anyone texting or calling but I didn't have a choice and had to call today to let him know that he needed to contact his lawyer today to contact mine and let them know that we were going to put the D on hold like he said on Sunday if that is still what he wanted and that I would give him his more space and time that he needed.
Today at 3:46 a.m. I get a text saying for me to call my lawyer and give him a name of a realtor, that he wants the house sold, and he is not putting the D on hold and he is fed up with everyone's bull and that it's over.
So here I go again. I'm such a mess, I mean he went from saying he loved me for the first time in over 2 years, talking about coming home and on and on and on. Then this today.
H is immature and has a slight learning disability, and said that he was happy his family is in his life again. He had a terrible childhood, parents divorced and he was the baby and got shoved back and forth. Got made fun of in school, his brothers, and sister picked on him terrible, I could go on and on then his father told him how his mother tried to abort him just 6 months before he left me.
My heart and my stand are saying not to give up but it is a losing battle although I was told by someone that he feels his sister stabbed him in the back and is very mad at her. I'm not competing against OW but entire family.
